Thursday, March 24, 2011

Letting Go

Letting go.

 This is a task I have never been good at, I remember events all to well. I really wish that I could remember names as well as I can remember things that have happened to me, but alas I have not yet mastered this skill. Letting go has been the theme of my life for a week and a half, it all began with a Bible Study where I was going to give my Final Speech for my class.  Beth Moore is a moving speaker and I was convicted about how I had cut people out of my life and continued to try and be fertile on the plot of land God is currently loaning to me.
I asked for prayer to know how to tear this wall around my heart down and begin making amends to the friends I have blocked out and also know who to invite back in.  Three days later while writing something mundane on Facebook, I received a private message that a friend I had not seen in almost 12 years was at the same event from Seattle Washington. Neither one of us had a clue the other was close, but once we got connected we were stoked to spend some time together.
Being with this friend was like being with family. It made me remember what it was like to have someone know my flaws and my crazy  history and still love me. I hope that they know I love them as well, because I do. Every fiber of my being hopes and pray for their happiness.

But what do you do when two people have grown apart and God is going to be the wedge in the friendship. I had to let go, and as much as I would love to be there no matter what happens I know for my own well being it is the right thing to do. I am at peace about the decision and I am thankful for the time we had to reunite. It made me realize what I was looking for in a relationship and what I have been missing since I was 16 in all the friendships that have come and gone over the years.
As we grow up and grow apart I think the only thing that can be is thankful for the time we have had together and the things that are learned.
Your Friend who is trying to find Balance,

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